السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
لا تصف المرأة امرأة أخرى لزوجها
قال البخاري – رحمه الله تعالى – (9/ 338 ) : حدثنا محمد بن يوسف، حدثنا سفيان، عن منصور، عن أبي وائل، عن عبدالله بن مسعود – رضي الله عنه – قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: ” لا تباشر المرأة المرأة؛ فتنعتها لزوجها كأنه ينظر إليها “.
لا تباشر: قال الطيب في شرح ” مشكاة المصابيح “:
البشرة: ظاهر جلد الإنسان
والمباشرة: الملامسة، وأصله من لمس البشرة البشرة
والمعنى به في هذا الحديث النظر مع اللمس
فينظر ظاهرها من الوجه والكفين
ويحس باطنها باللمس
ويقف على نعومتها وسمنها. اهـ
قال القابسي: هذا أصل لمالك في سد الذرائع فإن الحكمة من النهي خشية أن يُعجِب الزوج الوصف المذكور، فيفضي ذلك إلى تطليق الواصفة أو الافتتان بالموصوفة. مرجع كلام القابسي ” الفتح ” (9/338)
اقتطفته من كتاب
نصيحتي للنساء – لأم عبدالله بنت الشيخ مقبل بن هادي الوادعي – ص: 184
Pearls of Wisdom from Umm Abdil Wahhab (Zawjat ash-Sheikh Hassan Al
All praise is for Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu alayhi wasalaam), and upon (the Messenger’s) family and companions.
As salaamu alaykunna,
Inshaa`Allah this email reaches all of you in the best of health and in a high state of eeman. Umm Abdil Wahhab has been married to Sheikh HassanAl-Banna (hafithuallah) for 25 years. She is 67 years old and has 1 son. She is a wonderful woman, very warm, genuine and friendly. I truly miss her and was saddened by their departure. Alhumdulilah, we had an opportunity to speak with her and she shared some (what I call) pearls of wisdom. She told us that the Sheikh does all of the shopping for their house and for her. She was rather puzzled at the fact that women in the states go shopping. She said she has never seen this in Islam. She asked why the men do not go, when she was told the men work, she said in a matter of fact tone – ok since they work during the week, they can go shopping on Saturday and Sunday. When asked what piece of advice would she give to the women in the states, she said first and foremost LEARN ARABIC. She said she was saddened that there were not more sisters in the states that speak Arabic. She said she doesn’t understand why we learn (and teach our children) Quran before we learn to read, write and understand Arabic. She said she thought that was backwards, as how can we truly understand Quran, if we do not understand Arabic. Without the true understanding, it is just memorization and this is not enough. She said our first priority should be learning Arabic, and then teaching our children. She said we should speak Arabic in our homes and to each other as much as possible. She said our children should be making salat at the age of 7 and we should beat them with miswak (for not making it) at 10. On Friday, at the Masjid, after salatul Maghrib, she asked why the sisters do not make the sunnah prayers. She stressed that the sunnah prayers were muakkada (highly stressed) and she asked that this be conveyed to all the sisters. She expressed concern about the women in the states and the number of marriages and divorces. She said she saw so many women crying over the marriages and this made her sad. She talked about how women spoke to her about divorcing and being remarried within a few months. She said she did not understand how and why this happened and that this upset her as well. She said the men are responsible for 3 things (housing, clothing and food – period). She mentioned the murder of Brother Siddiq and she said that women must submit to the deen completely. Polygyny is part of Islam and if the husband wants to exercise this right the women must submit. She talked about sisterhood and ramadan coming, and she said the families should be getting together throughout the month of ramadan and beyond. She said we should be visiting one another, sharing meals, bringing food to each others homes and enjoying each others company. She also talked about the way the women dress (kuffar) in the states. She said it was so bad that she had to cover her eyes. She spoke of several other things as well, mashaa`Allah.
My dear sisters, this last thing I am going to write literally brought tears to all of our eyes when she said it and it is something that we should all reflect on…We asked Umm Abdil-Wahhaab how she felt about her visit to the states (this was upon her arrival and before she had an opportunity to go to the Masjid in Philly) she said “the Salafiyoon in the States is all talk no deen, all talk no religion” – My dear sisters, on that note, I will close.
I pray that I have presented this wonderful woman’s words accurately. I ask Allah subhanu wa ta al`aa to forgive me for anything that I have stated incorrectly. Inshaa`Allah her words will serve as a reminder for us all and may Allah bless her and the Sheikh in this life and in the next. Ameen.
It is reported that ‘Abd Al-Rahmân b. Abzâ – Allâh be pleased with him – said:
A righteous woman with a man is like a great gold-leafed crown on the head of a king, and a bad woman with a man is like a heavy weight upon an old man.
Ibn Abî Al-Shaybah, Al-Musannaf article 17428.
Ash-Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan, may Allaah preserve him, was asked this question:
Is it permissible for a woman to remain unmarried if a man who already has a wife and children seeks her hand in marriage due to the excuse that she wants an individual who is a virgin?
A: It is not permissible for a woman to remain unmarried, this is haraam upon her except if she has a legislated excuse because this (act ,not getting married causes the following):
1: It makes her lose out from (one of the biggest) opportunities of life (marriage).
2:Prevents her from having offspring.
3:This (reason) is the worse of (the reasons) which is this (act) exposes her to Fitnah and exposes her to fall into Faahishah, Fornication, because a woman is in need of a man no matter who she may be and no matter how she guards herself (from zinaa).So she is in need of a man due to what Allaah has given her of shawah (sexual desires), so this act exposes her to fitnah.
So if it is easy for her to get married to who she likes of a man who does not have (another) wife then it is okay. As for it is not easy then her getting married to a man who has a wife is a thousand times better then her remaining single where she is prevented from being married while it is not known that perhaps there is good in this (man) as a husband even though he has three wives, she can be the fourth. So the fact that she lives with women under the protection of a man who can keep her chaste, and causes her to give birth from him, while him being there for her assistance is better then her remaining single…
Reference: Ahkaam takhusul Marah, page:41-42, print: Ishbeeliyaa.
Wives/Mothers Seeking Ilm Shaykh Falah Isma’eel (hafidhahullah) in Slough 2010
Question: “Some sisters dont get time to seek ilm of Islam after they have kids. So what can their husbands do to aid them in seeking ilm?”
Answer: “You should make it easy for your wife to study, help with the children and housework. Make it easy by way of computer, through internet she can seek ilm. You can read with her 40 ahadith of Imaam Nawawee etc. Its a must that you have lessons for your family inside the home, not just outside. Such as the seerah of the prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam). This will benefit you because she will teach your children. Allah said- Oh you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones.. And the prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) said- I advice you to be good to your women. The prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) would help in the household. Some husbands (or wives) enter their houses like a lion and command their wives to bring this, bring that! The household wont be cultivated like this, especially if its salafiyyah. FEAR ALLAH in regards to the women.”